Warning: This post is about sex. Read no further if you might be offended...
I've been thinking about the sex life B. (my ex) and I had... I don't usually kiss and tell if I am in a serious relationship but the identities of both parties are well-protected here so I feel that I can discuss this in my blog freely.
I'll get to the point: the sex was bad!!! I mean bad! What's strange is that I was still physically attracted to him even after several unsuccessful attempts on my part to turn things around... I can't explain it. Chemistry is a funny thing. I still wanted to touch B. every chance I got. Maybe, deep down, I kept hoping I could change him.
It's not that B. did anything wrong in the sack... He just didn't do a lot of things he should have done. I usually have no problem telling a guy what I want but B.'s confidence in his skills blew me away...
Case in point: he thought that I had an orgasm at least 6 times the first time we had sex!!! For the record, I had none! I was going to say something but was lost for words when he asked me if it was 6 times or more...
The next time around he surprised me: he started going down on me. .. I thought there was hope... He stayed down there for about 30 seconds... Once again, I was going to say something but he was so proud of himself, so happy... I was lost for words...
B.'s idea of foreplay was taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom or better yet taking his clothes off and getting into my bed while I was in the bathroom... That wouldn't sound so bad if it lead to anything... it didn't. Not to even mention the "size" issues...
The reason I'm writing this down is I am trying to figure out whether it is possible to educate a guy in his mid-twenties if he got this far without having a slightest idea of how woman's body worked or not... My sister claims it is always up to the woman to make it what she wants it to be like. I can see that in some cases... In B.'s case it might be too late. What do you think?
Oh and by the way, before you ask, I do think I am pretty good when it comes to sex. I am playful (and naughty), adventurous and giving and much more...
About My Fabulous Self
- Girlie Monkey
- I am just a girl navigating my way through the exciting career and the jungle called DWS (dating while single)
7 comments:
:) Some guys just have no clue. I always think that a girl can really get her rocks off if she communicates what she wants and needs- Of course, not in a way that would bruise a guy's fragile ego. LOL! I'm laughing because your post was so honest and so real. Some guys really think they're champs in bed...when they're really, really clueless. *sigh* Don't be afraid to communicate your wants and needs in the bedroom ;p
Mid-twenties?
Honey, he hasn't learned how to f*ck yet. Either teach him or sleep with someone a few years older.
Well, that's a very dicey topic to discuss with a guy. Mostly because a lot of ego is involved, especially if he thinks he's really pleasuring you. I really don't think there is a nice way to break it to him that he's bad when he thinks he's good. And I really wouldn't think there is a guy out there who thinks he's mediocre or bad in the sack. Hence the problem. The only way to deal with it is to have a talk with him, not in the bedroom, and be straight with him. Can't be blunt or hurtful, but you have to get the point across. If he is receptive then you can go ahead and teach him what you like. If he gets mad about it, might as well break up then cause there is no going forward.
You guys are so right! Good thing I don't have to deal with this problem any more because B. is, in fact, my ex-boyfriend and we are not on speaking terms. I'm crossing my fingers for the next one to be a little more "educated".
Let me tell you, MOST guys think that they give us orgasms, but ah NO!!!! Also most men are selfish, they don't know the meaning of foreplay, it's kiss, suck a nipple (for 5 seconds) and then go down for another 30 seconds and they think that's going to turn us on. Foreplay is about taking your time and exploring every part of each other. Men get turned on if you blow in the wind so I don't know what to tell you, except say, I love your enthusiasm but let me show you exactly what I like and where, make it like he's good but that he needs to fine tune it. I once made the mistake to tell my boyfriend that in the beginning I faked a few (cuz he really tried but I was nervous and it was new and he just wasn't getting it quite right) well let me tell you that was a HUGE mistake, I will never do that again, it took months to get him to bring his confidence back and not think I was faking each time.
Good Luck!
you can teach a man at any age.
and every woman is different....so they have to be responsive to the different girl. and similarly every man is different so you have to figure out what he likes...
talk openly.
talk freely.
oh and just try spending 24 hours in bed; lots of wine and chinese food.
oh girl. I think we have slept with the same man. But in my case with CG, it has gotten considerably better. Though he still wont communicate in bed, even though I repeatdly ask him for direction. He gets me off, but I have trouble hitting his buttons. But I tell him what I need.
BUT he was NEVER over confident about it.
The last guy I slept with, which was only once and wasnt going to be again, was SUPER confident and SUCKED. I knew immedately that I would never bother again because he was over confident and cocky.
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