I am back with more love life drama than I can handle!

Not sure if anyone reads this any more but I need to vent.

A lot of things happened in the last couple of months. The weekend before last changed my life though. I met someone really special... His name is Matt...

Matt and I met online 2 years ago when I moved to a new town, not knowing a soul. He lived about 45 mins away from here. We spent some time emailing back and forth; tried to meet up a couple of times but never could find the time that worked for both of us. Then I started dating someone and Matt moved away. We lost touch.

He emailed me a couple of months ago out of the blue. It turned out he was now in Iraq (He is an engineer for the Army) but he came back to the U.S. every month or so. We talked on the phone a few times and texted a lot whenever he was back in the country. He told me he was going to be about 3 hours away from where I live for about 2 weeks this month and offered to meet up.

I tried to talk him into coming to visit me but he was not allowed to go out of town because of his job so he said I should come visit instead. The whole thing seemed a little shady to me so I wasn't going to go. When the weekend came; however, I had absolutely no plans so I threw caution to the wind and drove for 3.5 hours to meet Matt.

I was prepared to be disappointed. I figured we would go out for a drink and call it a night...

We clicked. I can't explain it. He is completely not the type I usually go for but it felt so natural! We ended up doing some bar hopping, drinking mojitos and playing some pool. When it was time to call it a night, we went back to the hotel where we were both staying in separate rooms, mind you :-) It turned out that the hotel was overbooked and I didn't have a room since I didn't check in earlier in the night... So we went to Matt's room (he promised to be a perfect gentleman) and watched some TV cuddling in a chair. The combination of the alcohol we consumed that night and knowing that it was our last chance to see each other for a long time did the trick... I know I sound really cheesy but the night was magical! That's all I am going to say about that. He had to work the next morning and I drove back home.

I figured that was the end of it. We had a great time but that was it. Well... he called me 15 minutes after I left and... we've been talking non-stop ever since liking each other more and more. Sounds magical, right? Not even! In fact, we are probably in for getting hurt. He went back to Iraq yesterday. He should be back for good in December but... he will be in North Carolina... not exactly driving distance. We both realize that the chances of anything happenning are very slim. I tried to pick a fight with Matt a couple of times secretly hoping that I would piss him off, he would stop talking to me and I would move on before getting hurt... He didn't let me do that. So... I am worried sick about him being in Iraq; waiting for a miracle and wanting to hug him so bad that it causes physical pain...

Is it stupid and unrealistic of me? Yes, but what if I miss out on something great just because I am scared? I guess part of me still believes in fairy tales...

Stay tuned