Guide to Translating online profiles

I found this extremely helpful guide on Nooner's Blog and just had to repost it because it's way too funny. I can't believe I've been online dating for months and didn't know the lingo ;-)
Independent Thinker . . . . . Crazy.
High-Spirited . . . . . . . . . . . Crazy, hyperactive, and throws things.
Free-Spirited . . . . . . . . . . . Crazy and irresponsible.
Ample . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Large.
Huggable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Large.
Zaftig . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . REALLY Large.
Fat and Sassy . . . . . . . . . . Large and loudmouthed.
Slender . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Skinny.
Svelte . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anorexic.
Petite (I am). . . . . . . . . . . . Short.
Petite (you are) . . . . . . . . . Size 2.
Dynamic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pushy.
Assertive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pushy with a mean streak.
Excited About Life's Journey . . No concept of reality.
Moody . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive.
Unpredictable . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and off medication.
Soulful . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and quiet.
Poetic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and boring.
Looking for Mr/Ms Right . . . Looking for Mr/Ms Rich.
Very Human . . . . . . . . . . . . Quasimodo.
Uninhibited . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lacking basic social skills.
Irreverent . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mean and lacking basic social skills.
Aging Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . Self-centered adult.
Freedom-loving . . . . . . . . . Undependable.
Young at Heart . . . . . . . . . Over 40.
Youthful . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Over 50 and in major denial.
Chatty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Never shuts up.
Humorous . . . . . . . . . . . . . Watches too much TV and never shuts up.
Financially secure (I am) . . . Has a job.
Financially secure (you are) . . Rich.
Affectionate . . . . . . . . . . . . Horny.
Romantic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Horny.
Passionate . . . . . . . . . . . . . REALLY horny.