So I was sitting here at work feeling completely unmotivated. I just finished a large project that I worked on the whole weekend so I didn't feel like doing anything else productive today. That is why I ventured off into the blog land and read several posts about when the girls should agree to have sex with the guys they are dating... Of course, the consensus was that they should wait for a while.
Well, I agree with that even though I've struggled with that a couple of times in the past myself. There are thousands of articles out there on the subject... However, I always wondered about the technical side of that.
It's easy to say that nobody should do it too soon but what exactly do you say when you are in the middle of a heavy petting session and things are progressing fast? How do you get out of that kind of a situation without sounding like a prude or an immature dork? I am 26 years old, so I can't exactly say that I am not sure if I want to give up my virginity just yet... What are some graceful ways to deal with the situation? How do you stay sexy yet mysterious?
I picked my sister's brain about it (she only works at a CPA firm and it's only the hottest time of the tax season right now, so there's no reason why she can't take a break and discuss the important matters with me on the company time). Her suggestion was - not putting yourself in the situation where things can get too hot and heavy, i. e. stick to the public places for the first several dates. She has a point but it is not always realistic so I'd like to hear some other words of wisdom... Anyone?
7 comments:
I always just put my hand on his chest...breath deeply, and say "one step at a time". I have joked about not wanting to be a one night stand.
I have bowed out many times and they have always come back...
shoot i wish i had waited until 26! and i thought i'd waited long to do so until i was 20!! way to go. I would say avoid your house or his like the plague. Pretend there are tons of roaches in there or something...i dunno!
Beth: I like yours. Very saddle.
Jane is dating: So you are with my sister on this one; she never thought of the roaches though, haha!
By the way, I think you misunderstood me, I wasn't saying I was a virgin...
For the past four years, I have not had sex early ...kept them in hot pursuit and it does work to keep them coming back...lately though I've decided why should I care if they come back or not---maybe a little fling might be all the doctor ordered.
A girlfriend of mine once introduced me to "The Rules", in which there are guidelines outlined for women to follow on dating and romance. Her Italian grandmother gave her the book and she swore by it. I found the rules to be very strict and stringent, but my friend kept at it.
I also felt that waiting a bit before having sex would make the guy appreciate you more and respect you more...and know you're not just a bed buddy. I really do think it depends on the situation though. I think that if you have a good gut feeling about the guy and sparks are there and you can't control them or don't want to...then why not? It also depends on if you're looking for a relationship or just a bed buddy. My Italian friend would tell you otherwise though. She'd say that under no circumstances should you sleep with someone early on in the rel't.
In the past, I've always told whoever I was with that I didn't want to rush things and they respected that and there were always follow up dates. If the guy is really interested, he'll respect that and he'll understand.
Okay, I don't know how I deleted my comment, but I did -- this is what it said:
If you don't want to have sex yet, just tell him that. But then smile seductively and say with the utmost confidence the words, "Just wait. Trust me, I'm worth it." If he can't wait to find out, he's most likely a quick draw mcgraw anyway and the sex wouldn't be any good. The guys who do wait realize that you're worth waiting for.
Remember, foreplay doens't just happen in the bedroom -- it begins with anticipation
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