Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Update on MB and ramblings about my stupidity

1. MB
After a couple of frustrating attempts, MB and I seemed to make the whole sex thing work but due to some girlie difficulties for the last week or so, it only happened once. We'll see how it goes.
Everything seems to be going great besides that but I am starting to have these crazy thoughts, as usual. I am not sure MB is someone I can spend the rest of my life with. I know, we haven't been seeing each other for that long but I can't help but wonder if I am wasting my time if nothing is going to come out of it. Don't get me wrong, I really like him and care about him but I am not sure it will ever translate to love... He, on the other hand, is deeply in love with me and I don't want to hurt him... Hmmmm....
2. Matt (remember him? The one that used to be in Iraq)
I have (unsuccessfully) been trying to get Matt out of my head for the last 5 months... He lives on the other side of the country, I don't have any plans for moving that way, he might be moving back within 3 hours of me next year but I may not even be here by then; I have no idea if anything could even happen between us if we did live in the same zip code. But I am strangely drawn to him. I've only met the guy in person once but it was a magical weekend, which made me wonder what could have been... He is one of the two guys I met who I could see myself being with for the long haul... I promised myself to forget about it several times but just when I think I succeed, Matt emailes me or texts me and I am back where I started...
Why can't I be happy with the guy who is here now and who is in love with me?!

5 comments:

BV said...

I think we always want what we can't have (at least, what we can't have right now). Dating is fun, but if MB is super smitten with you and talking about marriage and babies and you're pretty sure you're not going to feel that way, then it's it better to cut your losses now? Or you can pull a Curlygirl move and if you know it's not working out, start being a bitch so they break it off with you. Works every time :-)

P.S.- You're a trooper with the whole sex thing.

Girlie Monkey said...

Curlygirl: I know! My sister can not believe I've been so patient with the whole sex thing and out of all people, she knows what that's like for me!!!

Any how, you are right, it would have been smart to cut my losses but... I am not sure. I really care about MB a lot! Him and I actually had this conversation yesterday. And no, he is not saying we should get married right away and get cracking on making babies; however, I am 27 freaking years old, so I can't help but think about the future a little bit. Any how, I am dazed and confused. I suck at the whole relationship thing any way. I am awesome at dating but once it gets a little more serious, I have no clue how to handle it. Weird, huh?

Robin said...

cause you can't help who you love...if it were only so easy! Dang...I've had some great boyfriends (with looks, money, and physical agility...)but you can't help who you love.

Unknown said...

Hey, Girlie! It's been a while! Just popping by to see how things are going! TTYS! XOXO

BV said...

More updates please! :-)