WTF? My Ex-Love of My Life

I had a little "blast from the past" experience that I'd like to share here. My girlfriend G. (who lives in Illinois, where I spent 3 fine years of my life) called me yesterday to chat. She told me that she went out to a local hang out the night before and ran into someone who had a message for me... That certain someone was Eric - aka the only guy I was truly in love with. I think I may have blogged about him before but don't feel like searching for the link.

To make the long story short, Eric swept me off my feet, made me forget all about being cautious, taught me how to trust a guy I am with, introduced me to his parents, made plans for our future and...messed me up for life by dumping me without an explanation!

I had never been as upset over a boy. I literally laid in bed for a week, didn't eat or drink, just stared at the ceiling. Now, all of this happened more than 3 years ago. While I am completely over Eric and would not want to have anything to do with him, I could never become indifferent to what is going on in his life, for some reason.

Any how, Eric asked G. if she could give me his message. He wanted me to know that even though he was a jerk at the time and didn't explain anything to me, I was the best girlfriend he had ever had. He felt like he needed to propose to me right then and there but he knew I was going to move away and he didn't think he could ask me to stay just for him, plus he just wasn't ready for a serious commitment at the time...

What a bunch of bullshit! First of all, I found out later that he actually started seeing someone else before he broke up with me and dated her for about 6 months afterwards. We never talked about me moving away and I actually told him that I wasn't ready to get married at the time when HE started talking about that possibility. WTF? Why did he feel the need to apologize now? He is married; I haven't seen him or talked to him in 3 years. It just bothers me that he is trying to come up with some lame excuses for his piggish behavior when it is way too late.

Not sure where I was going with this. Just wanted to vent!

WTF? My weird dates - Part 2

So the next story is about Brian. We met online a couple of years ago. Seemed to have a good conversation over email and I was excited to meet him. He kind of seemed too good to be true: smart, handsome, successful.

So we went out for a drink... Within the first 15 minutes, Brian asked me if there was something I wanted to share with him that I usually don't share with people... Hmmmm... I wasn't sure what he was looking for here, so he said he'd go first... He told me he was a nudist...

Now, I consider myself pretty open-minded so I tried to hear him out (even though, I, all of a sudden, had these images of him running around Wal-Mart naked, for some reason). He told me how he found out he liked being naked and I tried to use this as an educational experience for myself by asking questions.

All fine and dandy. Then we went to the movies but the shows were sold out so he suggested watching a movie at his place. Not the best thing to do on the first date but he seemed pretty safe so I agreed. As we are driving to his house he says, "Man! I can't wait to get home and get rid of all of these clothes!" Hmmm... Excuse me? You are planning on doing that as soon as you get home? I told him that he couldn't do that while I was around. He proceeded to tell me how it was a very natural thing to do and was nothing sexual. I could totally be down with that had we been dating for a while and already checked out each other's private parts but... on the first date? No thanks!

WTF? My weird dates - Part 1

Since my dating life is non-existent at the moment, I thought I'd entertain you with some stories from the past. I've had my share of dates - some good, some bad and some downright ugly...

So, the first one that comes to mind is my last date with Trent this past summer. I think I mentioned how Trent and I went to college together and went out on a date once back in 2000. I didn't want to go on a second date with him back then for some reason but couldn't remember why when he re-surfaced in my life a few months ago (thanks to the modern technology, aka facebook).

I enjoyed talking to him via email so I figured I'd give him another shot and see what happens. We went out for a nice dinner and drinks, had a decent time and I invited him to come in for a bit when he walked me to my door. Well, one thing lead to another and we started making out... OMG! He was the worst kisser ever! I can't even explain it, I just felt like I was kissing a 12-year old who had no idea what to do with his lips/tongue/teeth... Grrrgh... Hmmm I think I know why our first date 7 years ago didn't lead anywhere...

To make the matters worse though, he took our making out session to the next level: HE STARTED LICKING MY EYE LIDS!!! WTF??? Is that sexy to anybody? Am I the only person who thinks that's creepy? All I kept thinking about was how I was going to wake up with an eye infection from all of that slobber!

He was a pretty nice guy but I could never bring myself to go out with him again. Just didn't want to be subjected to all of that saliva all over my face. Sorry!

I am a victim of my own stalking!

Is it possible? Damn right, it is!

M. and I emailed back and forth for a while yesterday and I came to the conclusion that nothing was really going to come out of this. He just didn't seem that into me. I still wasn't ready to give up, however.

Well, today, feeling lonely and stalkerish, I decided to check and see if he still had a personals profile on yahoo where we originally met 2 years ago. Turns out... he does and he is very active on there. I know it's not a big deal but it actually hurt a lot. I was so into him that I couldn't even think about any other guys, so this just happened to be the last drop.

I am back to my realistic and cynical self. No more flying on cloud nine.

Time Change... Grrrrgh!

OMG! This whole time change screwed me up today! I got to work at 7am!!! Now I didn't forget about it. I changed all of the clocks yesterday but I always use my phone for an alarm and the time on there usually updates automatically, so I didn't even check. Well... it didn't, so I woke up at 5:45am instead of 6:45am! Such an idiot! Oh well, getting a lot of stuff done at work this morning.

As far as M. goes, I was feeling especially vulnerable yesterday (mostly due to PMS). I hadn't heard from M. in 3 days but what concerned me even more was the fact that his emails kept getting shorter and shorter last week and I kind of felt like I was forcing him to talk to me. So, against my better judgement, I decided to email him last night:

"Well it didn't take you long to lose interest... slacker" Tried to keep it light, sort of...And he replied right back""hey im busy! you didn't write me either, my @$#&* queen (I can't disclose the whole nickname he has for me but it's sort of cutesy"Not exactly the answer I was hoping for but better than nothing. I guess not everything is lost yet.

So we emailed back and forth this morning for a while. He mentioned how he was going to surprise his family for Christmas because they all think he is not coming back till January. I was hoping he would mention something about coming to see me in December too but he never did. Well, I am not asking him about it but if he doesn't make any effort to see me by the end of they year, I am going to give up completely. For now, I still have a little bit of hope left.

I need to keep busy!

Well, I have decided to take the back seat on the whole long distance relationship with M. Whatever happens... happens. My problem is I am a problem solver by nature. I don't like to sit around and wait; I design the plan of attack and start acting. It's gotten me pretty far in the business world but unfortunately, has gotten me in trouble in my personal life quite a few times.

Every time I found someone I really wanted to be with, I somehow managed to screw up by being too pushy.

As hard as it is for me, I am going to try not to do that this time... unless I get really drunk and start drunk-emailing ;-))

Sooooo, since I need to stay extremely busy in order to live up to the above promise, I am trying to come up with things to do this weekend (as luck would have it, I have absolutely no plans as of right now).

Friday night

• Get home from work
• Go to the gym
• Clean up the apartment
• Invite a couple of friends over to drink wine

Saturday

• Sleep in
• Go to the gym
• Go to the mall with a friend
• Come home and change clothes
• Go to the Hockey game
• Come home and get ready for a night on the town
• Go out with two favourite girls ever!

Sunday

• Be lazy

I think that's a good start, don't you?

Update

This whole "being patient" thing sucks! I am working on it though ;-D

M. and I have been emailing back and forth. I am happy. He is doing fine. Luckily, his job in Iraq is not as dangerous as some others. Of course, that doesn't mean he is completely safe but it gives me some comfort!

We have not really talked about whether and/or how we are going to see each other in December. I am dieing to bring that up but afraid to blow the whole thing by being to pushy...

On a different note, I was messing around one of those sites that help you find classmates, old friends, etc and found this guy I went to school with (grades 1st-8th) whom I hadn't talked to in about 12 years. I sent him an email and he responded with, "Hi, my First Love". Whaaaaaat? I had no idea this guy ever had a crush on me. There were these two other boys in our class that competed for my attention but this one was always just a friend to me... Hmmmm... That felt strangely good to know that someone had a crush on me many years ago... and by the way, he sent me some pictures and he looks amazing. Never thought a skinny little boy could turn into such a good looking man ...